"Today I Read..."

Today I realized something that made me feel calm and content for a moment. 

If I were able to record myself throughout the day I think the words I say the most are "Today I read..." an article, a book, this thing about, something, anything, I'm always reading.I'm always drawing information into my brain every chance I get.

Maybe that is why I don't agree with the statistic that videos are a better way to draw an audience to your social media site, I hardly ever play the audio of videos, and more often than not I scroll right past.

I think on those days when I feel like I've wasted time not using my degree or not enough or not in the right way, I can know that it taught me to read. 

Not how to read but how to look at writing and get more from the story than the story itself, to always want to know what's being said, to always want to know new things. I may not have a regular output of material but it's always coming in. 

My ability to see it gets better every day, watching TV like, "Whoa I need to know who that is" or "Is that's true?" "Who made this art?" or "Who owns this restaurant?" or "How do they do it?" 

I don't remember it all, and it's not always as interesting as I thought, but that's ok because it's still new information to me.

And I like talking about it. Not in a teacher way were I could come up with it for an hour and half long class every day. But in a, hey, person near me, I-bet-you-didn't-know-this-fact-I-now-know kind of way. 

That is how all my stories start with, "Today I read..."

Women’s and men’s bodies are different, and I’m good with that, proud even.

Remember when we used to teach our kids that everyone represents all the colors in a box of crayons? Well I always took that to mean that not only are there all sorts of colors of skin, but that every single person was unique, and different from everyone else. Now, it seems like in the pursuit of gender equality, we’ve thrown all that out the door. 

“Women and men are the same” has become the new tagline, we both have chests, nipples, hair, skin, genitals, so we should be able to do anything the other does and get on with it. 

But my body IS different from a man’s. I am able to not only grow and produce a baby from my body, but I could also feed that baby milk that comes from me. Does that mean we should be ashamed of our bodies? No. BUT, that also means that our bodies are special.

Not long ago, the big thing everyone was talking about was how sexualized our society is. We have giant, skyscraper-tall pictures of women in their underwear in every major city, you can’t turn on the TV after 5:00 pm and not see someone talking about sex, pretending to have sex, walking around scantily clad or just baring it all. For a while, all that clamor seemed to be working. Ratings on shows were changed, time slots shifted and all that. For a while people were even talking about the fact that we only see the naked parts of women and that seemed unfair. The solution? Put guy’s junk out there too. Seems a little anti-progressive to me, but equal is equal right? 

Now things seem to have spun out of control. Once again, I am not saying there is shame in the human body. I am also not saying that trying to desexualize women so that they can breastfeed in public, not be raped because of their attire, and be able to be taken seriously is not important. It is. It is all very important.  But where is the line anymore? 

I read two articles in the same afternoon about things women were doing that were “so great and making such a difference and here’s why…” about armpit hair and “freeing the nipple.”

What?

Sure, men and women both have hair, like, all over. But that doesn’t mean everyone likes having hair, like, all over. Personally, I have super sensitive skin. When I don’t shave, I break out in in-grown hairs, a rash and I sweat so profusely that it looks like I just stepped out of the pool under my arms, also I have super thick hair, so while most people could grow their pits out and no one would notice, I would look like I was holding someone in a headlock. Keeping it clean shaven is my choice, and it is for the benefit of those around me. Also, women choosing not to shave is not new. Back when we were burning our bras for attention, there was plenty of hair being grown too, and not only did it not help our cause, in most cases it just scared people into either listening or running away. Personal hygiene is a choice, it’s not a feminist choice, it’s not a movement, it’s a preference and whether we live in America or Africa, you can shave your pits if you want to, just don’t force everyone to look at it. I don’t feel represented by the celebrities who have stopped shaving and are now flaunting it. One of the reasons being Miley Cyrus started it and I don’t care how many foundations for the homeless she starts if she can’t keep her dang clothes on she does not have my respect. 

Which brings me to the other article about nipples. Once again I say, yes, men and women both have them, but in all the cases, they are very different. As I mentioned before, not only can a woman’s breast feed a child and give life, it is shaped different and the nipple itself is more sensitive and all that. Should I think women should feel ashamed? NO! Do I approve of breastfeeding in public so that your child doesn’t starve, throw a fit or cause a scene? YES! Feed that baby wherever you please, that is totally a right you should have. Does that mean I think women should march topless through Times Square in a movement titled, “Free the Nipple” to draw attention to women’s rights, equality, and sexuality? NO. 

I do not feel represented by topless women. I do not feel that this will do anything more than create a spectacle that will draw the attention of perverts from across the country to come collect images for their spank bank. There is a reason that the “compromise” became that women could show all their breast except the nipple, it is because it is private. Literally called a “private part” for a reason. It’s not about sex, it’s not about freedom, it’s about women wanting to get a rise out of the world, and I think we do enough of that already. 

In Isreal, women are exposing their hair, THEIR HAIR, as protest and it is blowing people’s minds. While American women, instead of finding ways to gain RESPECT from the men around them, to earn a fair wage and to be seen as equals in the workplace and on the streets, are finding ways to shove their parts in the faces of everyone. We are all appalled when a “nip slip” occurs on television, we look down our noses at celebrities that wear clothes to award events that leave nothing to the imagination, we even send girls home from school and their prom because their clothes are what we deem “unacceptable,” “Inappropriate,” or “revealing.” But when we talk about freeing the nipple everyone is down to party. How does that makes sense? What happened to teaching our daughters to respect their bodies and themselves? What happened to teaching our sons that women can do anything they can, and that they are not things, oh and that how they dress does not give permission for aggressive sexual behavior? Instead, we leave it to the schools to make the hard decisions, to teach everyone the same values, and then we get mad when they don’t do it how we expected. And while our kids are in school, learning all the wrong things, women; mothers, sisters, daughters, cousins, aunts, grandmothers, are out there shaking their ta-ta’s saying it’s their right. What about my right? What about the accountability? When did it become all about right vs. responsibility? Where is the respect? We all want something but very few are willing to really do the work to make a real difference. 

So I say again, yes, we should NOT be ashamed of our bodies. 

Yes, we should fight for our right to be recognized as equal under the law, in wages, and in the way we are treated out in the world. 

But can we find another way to do it that doesn’t involve sharing all our personal secrets? That doesn’t infringe on others’ rights to not have to look at your full-nipple-and-all breast in public, or that doesn’t bring sex into it at all? That fulfills the requirement for basic hygiene? When did we go from shirts that had to close at the throat to hide all cleavage to literally whipping them out for shock value? I guess it is my right to keep my privates private, and yours to let them loose. But keep in mind what the children are seeing. What other countries are seeing. As an American woman I see entitlement, shock value and a loss of personal dignity, not a movement. I want to be respected for my brain, not my breasts or where I can grow hair.